Now that Engagement season has come to and end Wedding season is about to begin! I am getting to that age, late 20’s when it seems like everyone you ever knew is getting engaged, married and having tiny humans. Its very weird to see pictures of that girl’s hair you always had to hold back at parties holding a tiny human and you know they grew that themselves… And you realize how much you all have changed.
Then the wedding invites start coming in and you’re asked to be in wedding parties. All of a sudden you’re planning your own wedding! its madness I tell you. MADNESS!
So through these events I have noticed that many people are very, very clueless when it comes to proper and acceptable behavior. Its really no one’s fault. Most people attend weddings when they are very young and then again when its your own friends, siblings and cousins getting married. (Unless of course you’re from one of those big giant families who seem to be attending weddings every weekend!) So you never really get the hang of it and figure out all the nuances until its too late.
We all seem to know the basics: Don’t wear a tiara, don’t start fights in the bathroom and bring a gift. However there are a number of things that are constantly forgotten or overlooked so I thought it would be a good idea to provide a quick “Wedding Etiquette Cheat Sheet” To help you navigate the next 10-15 years of your life
If you have the honor of receiving an invitation to someone’s special day the least you can do is respond to the invite. Even if it’s a ‘No’ and you told them when they got engaged you wouldn’t be attending for whatever reason, the polite thing to do is to provide a concrete response when you do receive their official invite. Bonus points if you respond by their deadline.
Check and double check your invitation. Some weddings are small and do not assume that you will be given a plus one. If you are not given a plus one do not write your partner or friends name in on the card or stick their name in the comments section of the online rsvp. This is their special day and they might not have enough room for everyone to bring a guest. Yes this might suck. So you have 3 choices: get over it and enjoy the wedding anyway, pout about it and don’t enjoy the wedding or RSVP No if it bothers you that much and when you get married you can invite everyone you’ve ever met. Problem solved
And on that note:
If your tiny humans are not included on the invite they are not invited. That’s it. Get a babysitter, call your parents, whatever you have to do. DO NOT call the couple and whine about how well behaved your precious pipsqueak is. I guarantee you they don’t care and they have a good reason for their decision
Weddings are very important events and the couple wants you to spend their special day with them. Many wedding invites will come with basic guidelines on how to dress such as ‘Formal’ or ‘Semi- Formal’ which should help give you an idea. However, with all the online guides I have noticed there are usually a few things missing such as:
- Never wear denim unless directly instructed to. (no jeans, no denim shorts, no denim skirts and definitely no denim overalls)
- If you would wear it out to the club then don’t wear it to a wedding. No exceptions.
- Anything white or with excessive bling and sparkle, only exception is a New Years Eve wedding for sparkle
Pick something that makes you feel good but also keep in mind that the day is not about you and its important to show respect for the occasion through your attire
I should also note that if you absolutely need to ask the couple for clarification on the attire (and you have gone through the appropriate research then asked the wedding party and still don’t have an answer) do not wait until the week before the wedding to ask. And certainly not the day before! They will be busy enough and you have had months to plan, when in doubt overdress. It is always better to be overdressed than underdressed
If you are not in the wedding party then congrats you are off the hook for the planning process! This also means that you don’t plan a different party and invite only select friends when you aren’t happy with the original plans.
AND FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE…
Don’t get drunk and do your Bon Jovi Impression on stage in front of everyone… (Yep this was me definitely one of my finer moments) do that at the bachelorette instead. Enjoy your alcohol but keep off the stage.
This should get you started for the upcoming wedding season, and let me know in the comments some outrageous things you have seen (or done yourself!) at weddings in the past!